Beyond Identity and Practice: Exploring the Lived Experience of Polyamory through a Qualitative Lens

Introduction

Polyamory, a form of consensual non-monogamy (CNM), challenges dominant mononormative frameworks by allowing multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships with the consent of all involved. While psychological literature has begun to explore CNM, polyamory remains under-researched, particularly in terms of how individuals experience and define it. Existing debates often frame polyamory as either an innate identity or a relational practice, yet this binary overlooks the complexity of lived experience. This study seeks to address this gap by exploring how polyamorous individuals navigate their relationships, identities, and social contexts.

Goals and Methods

The research aimed to understand how individuals define polyamory and cope with challenges in a mononormative society. Six participants who self-identified as polyamorous were recruited for semi-structured interviews. A constructionist thematic analysis was employed to interpret the data, focusing on how participants construct meaning around their relationships, identities, and values.

Results

Four key themes emerged: (1) self-awareness, (2) leaving behind mononormativity, (3) exploration, and (4) commitment to polyamory. The first three themes reflected internal processes of identity negotiation and relational discovery, often intersecting with broader sexual identities such as bisexuality and queerness. The fourth theme highlighted participants’ intentional commitment to polyamory as a reflection of personal values and ethical frameworks, rather than a fixed identity or behavioural choice.

Conclusions

Findings suggest that polyamory cannot be neatly categorized as either identity or practice. Instead, it represents a dynamic, evolving orientation shaped by values, sexual diversity, and relational preferences. This research underscores the importance of qualitative inquiry in capturing the complexity of non-normative relationships and calls for greater academic and curricular support for methodologies that center lived experience.